Thinking Out Loud with Dr. Cheryl

As we head into the New Year, some of us are leaving a year behind that was filled with broken promises and broken relationships. It has left some of us wondering and questing for True LOVE. You may be asking yourself, what is love, anyways? Most of us living on this planet seem to be on the ultimate quest to unearth true love. Blockbuster Hollywood movies focus on discovering true love, and famous epic love stories are penned on the pages of bestselling novels. Yet, how do you and I define true love? If you think you know how to define love and what it is you are seeking, how can you be 100% for certain when you have found it?

Some of you reading this might be quite skeptical and think that there is no such thing as a love that is unconditional, a love with no strings attached, as that is not what you are accustomed to. You may only know the type of love that is selfish, if someone gives, they also take. There was a time in my life that I was at a place such as this. I knew that there had to be true, unconditional love, as that is what was being taught to me. Yet, when I looked around me, I did not see it, nor did I experience it. Unfortunately, I was looking in the wrong places. I was looking at love through the eyes of intellect, through my mind, and not with my heart. My mind clouded my vision, and did not permit me to see the true love that was always there right in front of me, even when I did not realize that it was patiently waiting, never leaving my side.

I needed to come to a place of realization, where I had to make a decision for myself, to quest this true unconditional love that the bible talks about, yet I was not experiencing. If you asked me about love, I could recite to you many of the scripture verses that discuss love and God’s love. Yet these verses were stuffed in my mind, they had not penetrated my heart. I attended church, sang hymns and even talked about God to others, as if I knew Him. Yet I did not truly know Him and His redeeming, everlasting love. The personal relationship between myself and God was missing. God was not missing from the equation, as He was always there, patiently waiting. It was I that was not engaging in a relationship with Him. I was the factor that had strayed.

Have you ever been involved in a relationship that is only one-sided, you are the one-side? You are longing to have a friendship or romantic relationship with a certain someone, yet they do not want it. You might feel rejected, hurt and possibly despised. You are willing, but they just ignore your continual kind comments, and your desire to engage in a relationship with them. You want to spend more time with this person, but they do not want to spend time with you. If this is you now, or has been you in the past, think about how God must feel. He is continually wanting to get to know you more and more every single day, yet you may be ignoring Him.

God wants to develop a relationship with you, so that His unconditional love, seeps down from your head directly into your heart. God is knocking at your heart, and demonstrating His unconditional love for you in so many ways throughout your days. Knowing God’s unconditional love, can only be accomplished through spending consistent time with Him, by talking with Him and reading about Him in the bible. If you are married, think about what would happen if you stopped spending a lot of time with your spouse. The two of you will probably become more distant. This is the same with God. The less time you spend with Him, the more distant you will become with Him. You will eventually rely more on your own head knowledge of God’s love, instead of on the true knowledge that you can do anything through God who strengthens you.


Even though you have read to here in this article, you may still be struggling with the love that God has for you or you might not believe in God, or you do not want anything to do with God, and instead want to live life on your own. Ask yourself, how is not having a relationship with God and not knowing His true love working for you so far? Do you often feel empty and alone? Is your mind scrambled with thoughts that are both good and not so good? Do you have a difficult time thinking situations through clearly? Do you struggle with loving others, even though you want relationships with them? Do you even know how to develop relationships with others? Have your friends or loved ones hurt you and rejected you?

Depending on how you answered the above questions, will more than likely be a reliable variable to predict if you are still actively engaged in reading this article. You may be so hurt by love that you do not believe it exists, and therefore anyone writing or talking about love, you quickly disregard. If you think that God is not love and that He does not love you, before dismissing the remainder of this passage, I would ask that you first of all reflect upon the ultimate gift that God gave to you by sending His Son to this earth. If you believe that true love does not exist and that you do not have anything to be joyful about, I would argue that the birth of Jesus is something to be really joyful about. Without the birth, there would have been no resurrection story. Without the resurrection story, you and I would be forever condemned to a life of everlasting pain, sorrow and despair. It would be a life that would be hopeless, with only destruction as the ultimate winner.

We are all live action-characters in the greatest adventure story ever to unfold. This adventure story unfolds every single day of your life and my life. You may think that I am sensationalizing and over-reacting. Yet, our lives, and the ultimate place that we will spend eternity is a choice that each of us must make. None of us had a choice as to where we were born, who our parents were and how we looked. This should really give you a hint that the most important things in our lives – life and death – are not in our control. You may be able to control some things in your life, but these two ultimate BIG issues, life and death, are not in your control. You were born without a choice, and you will die without a choice. However, where you will spend your time after you die is your choice.

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve decided the fate for the entire human race by choosing to sin. We did not have a choice, it was decided by Adam and Eve, and sin entered the world. By Adam and Eve choosing sin, it meant that we would all die a painful death and be separated from God’s love for ever. However, God in His passionate love for the human race, demonstrated grace and mercy by sending to earth, the ultimate LOVE gift of His son, Jesus. Without this free gift and act of love, by our Heavenly Father, we would not have any hope of living forever in Heaven, eternally surrounded by the true unconditional LOVE of our Father.


As you begin 2018, if you are feeling low on love, think of the ultimate love sacrifice that Jesus gave. He left the comforts of heaven, where he was the Son of God. Being the Son of God is a revered position amongst all in the heavenly realms. In heaven Jesus was honored, worshipped and waited upon. Jesus walked on streets of gold and lived in mansions that every other mansion on this earth pales in comparison. He gave up his golden throne for a wooden manger and a wooden cross. He took upon himself the additional title of the Son of Man, so that he could experience the joys and the pains that life here on this earth brings to all. That is true love!


Jesus became flesh, and in doing so, he became the Son of Man and the Son of God!


Isaiah prophesied that Jesus would be a man of many sorrows. This prophesy was fulfilled, on earth, through the birth, life and death of Christ. Jesus knows and has felt all sorrow and all pain. The sacrifices that Jesus made for all of us are the epitome of true unconditional love. Jesus did not have to leave his cozy home in Heaven, however, he selflessly did for you and for me. The bible also tells us that God gave His only Son to be born on earth, and to take on and away all of the sins of the world. This act of unconditional love occurred, so that anyone ever born on this earth, could live forever with God in heaven.

The bible also details for us, that by Jesus’ birth, death and resurrection, that we can all freely receive the gift of being Joint Heirs with Jesus. This is the biggest Christmas gift that you will ever be given. The gift of true love. You can accept this Christmas gift and enter into the New Year as a joint Heir to a Kingdom that has streets paved with gold. Heaven is a place that you will never go hungry or be thirsty, that you will never again be sick or in pain.  This is a decision for every single human being on this earth, as to whether they will accept the gift of being a Joint Heir to a Heavenly Kingdom. This decision is not forced upon you, as that is not what true love is about. True love does not make you do anything against your will. True love allows you to decide, yet if you don’t decide, what alternative are you guaranteed? Is it an alternative based on intellect and reason? Does your alternative provide you with unconditional love, peace and joy at all times, even in the dark times?

Love came down to this earth, so that we could all live forever as Joint Heirs, with the promise of having riches beyond what this world has to offer. Even the riches of the wealthiest on this earth, doesn’t even come close in comparison to the wealth that our Eternal Kingdom holds. We are all promised, that we will live as princes and princesses for eternity, if we by faith, believe and accept the gift of unconditional love. This unconditional love also promises us a life here on this earth filled with joy, peace and love, no matter the circumstances. This eternal life promises to us that we will never walk alone, ever again, as God promises in His word that He will never leave us or forsake us. This unconditional love was born on Christmas morning, in a lowly manger. Yet his humble beginnings on this earth do not speak of his inheritance, or the inheritance that we can have on this earth and that we have waiting for us in Heaven. Your choice – do you choose a life filled with peace, made possible through the unconditional love of God our Father, creator of all? Is reason, pride, and disbelief standing in your way?

Even if you do not believe in God’s epic love story for human kind, your disbelief does not alter the ultimate plan for the universe. You may think that somehow by not believing that you hold the power to control your destiny. Yet, I ask you to honestly answer this simple question, did you choose where and when you would be born? I am assuming your answer is no. The answer to this question is a really BIG hint that you do not control everything, especially the most important things, which are life and death. Your disbelief does not change the reality of life, sin, love, heaven and hell, it just simply means you disbelieve.

Your disbelief does not alter God’s plan for people, you have no control over God through your disbelief, just as you had no control over when and where you would be born. However, your belief in God and His Son, Jesus, will alter the destiny of your life forever!


I believe in you, and so does God!


If you would like to know more about how you can start this New Year off by being a Joint Heir in the Kingdom of God, please write to me at, or contact me on Facebook, twitter or Instagram.