The confident person in the room is the one who practices self-love. They’re not comparing themselves, their resume, life experience, outfit or body to others in the room. They don’t wonder if their presence in the room is welcome or enough.

A person who is truly confident stays present, connected in conversation, they aren’t looking around the room for someone more popular, famous or cool to talk to. The presence they carry is stillness. They aren’t chaotic in their mind, they listen to the person they are talking to. They haven’t got a fear of missing out because they know that being present and connected will be a magnet for opportunity. Fear of missing out will cause you to miss out.

Internal confidence

They aren’t offended if someone overlooks them, or forgets their name. Their source of significance and confidence doesn’t come from being the loudest, most loved person in the room, it comes from a deep sense of stability in who they are internally, rather than externally. They don’t look to others for validation, they find it within themselves.

A confident person attends a party to give something, not to get their ego fed.

Awareness around confidence

When you next go to a party or enter a crowded room, create awareness around how you feel when you enter the room. Sometimes we can feel great as we are getting ready at home and as soon as we enter the party, comparison can settle in as we compare how we look to other people in the room. Comparison will chip away at our self-worth and our self-worth will always come out in our conversations because “out of the heart the mouth speaks.” Have you ever said something stupid or maybe over shared something and then felt like I just want to take back everything I just said?! Well we can actually manage this if we learn how to manage our heart.

Competence vs Confidence

I believe there is a difference between competence and real confidence. You can have the boldness to go up to someone and introduce yourself, or have the ability to be the ‘life of the party’ but this can fall into the category of attention seeking very quickly if you’re not connected and aware of yourself.